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Bill Nerenberg's avatar

Hi Pamela,

Thanks for this most detailed account of your emotional struggle with your cancer. I, too, faced a similar struggle with bladder cancer 14 years ago. I thought I would lose my bladder and have to live the rest of my life toting a bag around with me. Fortunately, my urological surgeon found a way to preserve the wall of my bladder to which the 6 centimeter tumor was attached. I don't know how he did it, but to this day, there has never been a complication. My anger and worry were very similar to yours. I then found a little sign which I keep on the wall of my study - right next to my desk. It reads,

"CANCER CANNOT cripple love,

silence courage, destroy friendship,

shutter hope or conquer the spirit."

I decided that I would not allow cancer to "own" me. Look for those feelings inside you. Undoubtedly, they are there, buried under all the worry...You are blessed with many wonderful parts of your life other than the cancer. Last week, I got a second diagnosis of a blood cancer called Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. It sounds worse then it is - it's a very slow developing condition that will likely not kill me before something else does, but my "armor" is on - protecting and projecting courage, friendship, hope and spirit. You can and will defeat this...Make that pledge to yourself.

With much love, Bill Nerenberg

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